The Ember Island Players Present: Into the Inferno
by keylee
Summary: Post-finale. The gaang goes back to Ember Island to find a new play about their adventures in the Fire Nation. Covers every episode in season three, with more hilarious and ridiculous scenes than ever before!
1. The Awakening through The Beach

**Hey gaang! I was watching EIP for like, the billionth time the other day and decided that I HAD to write a sequel to it! So, this is what I came up with: a four-part fic about the detailed adventures of the gaang throughout season three. This is post-finale, so Mai's with them too! Enjoy**

"Remind me, why are we here again?" Mai complained as the group waited in line for tickets.

Aang turned around. "Because Zuzu's a sucker for plays?"

"And he has to drag us along," Sokka added grumpily.

"The last play here was _terrible_," Katara told Mai.

"Then why are you seeing another one?"

Everyone paused and thought about it. "We're not sure," they replied in unison.

"Got the tickets," Zuko said excitedly as he came around a corner. "Let's go."

Toph and Sokka stuck their tongues out when his back was turned, but followed him anyways. The group of seven returned to the same balcony they sat in the last time they had seen an Ember Island Players' production. Sokka, Suki, Aang, and Katara took the bottom row, while Mai and Zuko took the top.

Mai leaned against Zuko's shoulder, while the girls in the other row snuggled comfortably next to their dates as well.

Completely oblivious, Zuko called out to the blind earthbender. "Hey Toph! You can sit next to Mai and me."

Toph eagerly jumped down and sat next to him. Mai sat up and glared at Zuko, who was still unaware that she had preferred for them to sit _alone_.

"The Ember Island Players' present: Into the Inferno," Suki was reading off of the program. "It's a detailed play about the Avatar's journey into the Fire Nation and eventual triumph over Phoenix King Ozai. Doesn't sound too bad…"

"At least they don't show him losing again," Katara said angrily.

Finally, the theater went dark, and the music began playing as the curtains opened.

"Is that…us?" Mai asked Zuko, pointing to the two actors standing on a ship.

Suddenly wishing that he hadn't chosen to see another one of the Ember Island Players' plays, Zuko nodded numbly.

"I've been away for a long time, dearest Mai," the actor was saying. He wore a dark black cloak, and his scar was _still _on the wrong side.

"But, I have chosen to come back, _for you!_"

"Oh kiss me, Prince Zuko!"

Mai and Zuko gagged. Below them, Suki, Sokka, Katara, and Aang were all laughing manically.

"Oh kiss me, Avatar Aang!" Katara mocked them; she received a small peck on the lips in return from Aang.

Toph was also laughing; Mai glared at Zuko for forcing her to come and watch this horrible play.

"Oh _Zuko_…"

"Oh _Mai_…"

The actors were still making out in a completely unromantic and disgusting way, somehow managing to breathe and speak their lines in between.

Finally, they moved on to the next scene. Mai was quite angry with Zuko, and had scooted down the bench so as to sit as far away from him as she could.

The spotlight was now on Aang. She was supposedly floating on a piece of driftwood at sea, when suddenly, she woke up.

"Oh my, that lightning _really hurt!_" the actress whined to the audience. "But I have to get back to saving the world!"

She dramatically "flew" off with her glider, landing just a few feet away, where the rest of the gang was waiting for her.

"Oh Aang! You're aliiiiive…" Katara's actress broke out into a fresh chorus of sobbing, something the real Katara was hoping wouldn't happen this time.

"Oh give me a break," Katara said exasperatedly.

The scene changed again, as though Katara herself had commanded it. It looked like a prison, and Iroh's actor was sitting in the middle of the stage. Offstage, a cup of tea went flying at him, nailing the actor in the head. Tea dribbled down his face and clothing, but he remained in the same position.

"How do you like that, _old man?_" Zuko's actor said arrogantly as he appeared onstage. He then walked over and poured an entire tea pot onto Iroh's head.

The real Zuko looked away. That was just ridiculous, he never did anything like that…besides, Iroh had forgiven him for being a jerk, right?

Now the scene had changed yet again, and Aang's actress was dressed in Fire Nation clothing. She was surrounded by several young Fire Nation children, with the rest of the gang off to the side.

Music erupted around the theater and the actress began singing.

"It's fun to stay at the R.F.A.B." She was shrieking, rather than singing, using her arms to make the letters for the audience.

"It's fun to stay at the R.F.A.B" the kids around her echoed as they also made similar movements with their arms. Even the audience below was joining in on the fun song.

"They have everything for young men to enjoy; you can hang out with all the boys…"

"R.F.A.B?" Aang wondered what in the world that was. And that was a Fire Nation _dance party_, not karaoke night.

"Sounds like 'Royal Fire Academy for Boys,'" Mai commented.

Aang sniffed. "Stupid song…"

**xXxXxXxXx**

"I'm so sorry for your suffering!" Katara's actress was sobbing to a mass of weary-looking people. She was dressed in a crude costume that vaguely resembled the Painted Lady. The real Katara groaned inwardly, not at all anticipating what would come next.

"Here, take my food…" the actress cried harder with every word she spoke. "My medicine…my dignity…my clothes…"

At once, Mai, Suki, and Katara covered their boys' eyes.

"Stop it Suki!" Sokka was trying to squirm free of her hand. "I wanna see!"

The girls fought against the boys for several minutes; it seemed as though the hysterical actress would never leave the stage!

Finally, she disappeared in a cloud of fog, and Sokka's actor came on stage. Zuko, Aang, and Sokka all glared at the girls for obstructing their view of that potentially good scene back there, but none of the girls felt sorry for doing so.

"I need to feel special!" Sokka's actor was whining to the crowd.

"Why don't you make a sword, little boy?" Piandao's actor appeared onstage. "I have _lots of swords for you_."

"No! I want a _special_ sword! But what should I make it with? Wait! I know!" Sokka's actor, strangely sounding more and more like Zuko's actor, ran offstage, and reappeared moments later. "I have the perfect stuff for making a sword!"

"What IS that?" Piandao asked dramatically as he looked at his young student's hands. Sokka had gotten some sort of black rock.

"It's bison dung!" Sokka shouted proudly. "The finest there is!"

"It will make a _fine sword_, my young pupil," Piandao said slightly perversely, as he led Sokka offstage.

"My sword wasn't made from Appa's poop!" the real Sokka complained loudly. Suki tried calming him down, but he shook her off and stood up defiantly. "It was a meteor from space!"

**xXxXxXxXx**

The stage was now covered in sand. A beautiful painting of the ocean was in the background, and Zuko's actor stood alone on stage.

_Oh great,_ Zuko thought gloomily.

"I feel emo and angsty today, and I don't know why. Grrrr, I need to take out my anger in a constructive and nonviolent way."

The real Zuko hammered his head into the wooden railing in front of him. Something about his actor's strange accent made him sound worse than before…

"How about _VOLLEYBALL?"_ Azula's actress asked in a spookily evil voice as she appeared onstage.

Zuko's actor nodded tersely. Ty Lee and Mai's actresses ran on stage, and they began a rather violent-looking game of volleyball against padded dummies. Each actor had several balls, which they chucked to the other side, not expecting any to actually come back. Azula's actress was the most aggressive, while Ty Lee's actress couldn't even get a ball over the net. Mai's actress, on the other hand, gave up halfway into it and sat down to play in the sand.

The other team was beaten down and viciously attacked, but one of the dummies actually held its position and sent one of the balls flying back to the other side.

It hit Ty Lee right in the chest. Suddenly, one side of her chest began deflating. The actors paused for a moment; that was clearly not in the script.

The rest of the real gaang sat in shock, almost wanting to laugh, but not sure if that was appropriate at the moment.

"Balloons?" Mai choked, trying desperately to hide her first snort of laughter in fifteen years.

The entire audience was silent as well. The other actors were making feeble attempts to return to the scripted action, but they were too confused about what to do next. Ty Lee's actress was still gawking at her bathing suit.

"We're uh…going to take a short intermission," a voice boomed over the theater as the curtains fell, shielding the astonished actors from the equally stunned audience.

**Did you guys like it?Any reviews are appreciated, and stay tuned for the next chapter, which will have "The Avatar and the Firelord" through "Day of Black Sun: The Eclipse" **


	2. The Avatar & The Firelord through DoBS

**WOW! 9 reviews? You guys rock! Enjoy part 2/4...**

"This play is worse than the last one," Zuko noted sourly.

"I know!" Sokka grumbled as he heaved down a bowl of Fire Flakes. "Those actors really need to 'get their act together;' am I right?"

Silence.

Everyone was sick of the play and Sokka's lame jokes obviously weren't helping.

"Well, at least my character does more than fawn over her boyfriend all day," Katara said mockingly, glancing over at Mai.

Zuko noticed a look of fury flickering in Mai's eyes. _Uh-oh…_

Mai and Katara had been having issues for a while now; with Suki as the exception, Katara didn't take well to people joining the group. Nowadays, uncalled-for insults were just a common practice between Katara and the newcomer.

Mai just shrugged and crossed her arms. "Last time I checked, your _boyfriend_ was played by a girl."

"Hey!" Aang tried to come between them, but this was Katara's battle.

Katara shoved him aside, going for face to face verbal combat with Mai. However, just before she could shoot back with an angry retort, she held up her arms. "You know what? I don't need to fight you just to prove something."

"Whatever suits you," Mai said uncaringly as she watched the infuriated Water Tribe girl stomp away. "But at least my actress didn't strip naked in front of the entire theater."

Mai had barely whispered her last insult, but it was _just_ loud enough for Katara to hear. She let out an insulted howl of rage and tried running over to attack Mai with everything she had. Mai didn't hesitate at all and kicked away from the rest of the group, charging at the angry waterbender; five small knives were ready at her hands.

"Wait!" Zuko and Aang jumped in and grabbed the girls by their waists. They continued struggling and pulling against the boys, until they realized…

"Wrong girl," Katara seethed through clenched teeth at Zuko, glaring at him to make him let go of her. Mai was giving a similar expression to Aang. The boys sheepishly released the girls and nervously tiptoed around to their real girlfriends.

"Hey guys?" Suki tried calming the tension. "I think the play's starting again."

Katara and Mai begrudgingly called a temporary truce and followed the group back to their balcony seats.

The curtain opened once more, and depressing love music was playing. Iroh's actor was sitting alone in his prison cell, reaching for the sky.

"Oh Spirits, give me a sign," he was repeating over and over. Finally, something fell from the top of the stage, hitting Iroh in the head.

"It's a _crown!_" Iroh said dramatically, showing it to the audience. "It must have belonged to one of Zuko's great grandfathers. I must tell him!"

Iroh ran offstage, and two men took his place at the center. Some sort of fog had picked up; as though this were a flashback…

"Oh, Ro-Ro, why ever did you leave me?" one of the men was saying in an oddly feminine tone. He was a puny looking man, with a great black wig and a crown lost in the masses of hair.

"Sozin, you knew I had to go and fulfill my duties as the AVATAR!" Roku's burly actor shouted in an unnecessarily dramatic tone.

"But…now you're here to stay, right?" Sozin asked hopefully.

Roku shook his head. "I am moving to an island covered with dangerous volcanoes, with Wife-y."

"You have a wife already?"

"Okay, how is this even relevant?!" the Zuko groused, clearly displeased with his evil great-grandfather's embarrassing portrayal in the play.

"Sounds like that girl loves Roku," Toph noted out of the blue.

Zuko stared at her in horror.

"Actually, those are two _men_ up there, Toph," Sokka informed her, not even noticing the panicked expression on Zuko's face.

"Wait a minute…" Toph looked sorely confused now. "You mean…Sozin was…_a guy?_"

**xXxXxXxXx**

"Stealing…is…WRONG!" Katara's actress was sobbing as she held onto Toph's leg as he dragged her across the stage.

The real Katara sighed. _Here we go again._

"Oh quit your naggin' woman!" Toph shook his leg free and ran towards the far end of the stage. Sokka and Aang's actors were up ahead, playing games with some seedy-looking people.

The real Toph punched Zuko. "Tell me what's happening!"

"Well uh…you're standing…"

"Give me your money!" Toph's actor boomed over the entire theater.

"No, we will not give you our money," the dull-sounding scammers replied in unison.

"Then you leave me no choice."

Everyone in the gaang gasped as Toph's actor began singlehandedly fighting all twenty of the scammers onstage. He punched them, kicked them, and yelled into their ears until they "fainted."

"What's happening? What's happening?" Toph asked Zuko excitedly.

Grinning proudly, the buff actor now stood in the middle of a circle made from the limp bodies of his victims. All twenty of them had been "defeated" by the actor within a minute.

"You kind of…just knocked out…twenty people."

Katara's actress was, as usual, sobbing on the side of the stage. Sokka and Aang's actors were cheering for Toph, who portrayed the real blind earthbender well. He really looked like he enjoyed all that flattery.

The real Toph, on the other hand, looked disappointed. "Only twenty? Are you serious?"

"Beware…_The Runaway will get you next_," the actor roared, pointing to various people in the audience.

Toph beamed. "Now _that,_ I like."

**xXxXxXxXx**

In the next scene, an old sunken-faced woman with wild white hair and a deranged aura about her was smiling cruelly at Katara.

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little lemur too!" Hama screeched as the Momo puppet flew onstage and hit the ground with a sickening thud.

"No! I won't use evil to fight evil!" Katara's actress shouted. For once, she wasn't crying…yet.

Just as the real Katara was about to complain again, she noticed Aang and Sokka's actors entered the stage from either side, they were running at top speed; right at each other.

"You know, I wouldn't mind if we collided this time," Sokka joked with Aang.

Aang smirked. "Hey Katara, do you think you could make that happen?"

Katara glared at him, still not completely over the evilness of using bloodbending. He immediately looked away uncomfortably and mumbled an apology.

Meanwhile, onstage, Hama was in the background, madly waving around two puppets that resembled Aang and Sokka.

"DIE MY PUPPETS! DIE!"

"NO!" Katara's actress let out a shriek of terror. She flapped her arms crazily and screamed: "BLOODBENDING! KUNG-_POW_!"

"Noooooooooo! I'm melting! I'm _melting!_" Hama's actress let out a cry of despair and slowly disappeared below a trap door.

Aang's actress and Sokka's actor stopped running and sighed with relief.

"Thanks, Katara, I don't know what we would have done without you!" Sokka's actor said, pretending to be unaware of the emotional trauma Katara had supposedly just faced.

Right on cue, the actress began to cry.

**xXxXxXxXx**

"Come on, Aang, it's time to get some rest," Katara's actress sighed from her giant fur-covered sleeping bag.

"Okay, but first I need to talk to…Toph," Aang's actress motioned for Toph to follow her, while Sokka and Katara's actors disappeared.

"What do you want to talk about Aang?" Toph asked in his overly-masculine tone.

"Ya know Tophie, I've realized some big things," Aang started with her hands on her hips in a supremely girly fashion.

"What big things?"

"I see everything so clearly now…what really matters. Why I'm really doing this. I'm doing it to save the world…" Aang's actress trailed off as she moved closer to Toph and put her hands around his shoulders. "But more than that. I'm doing it for the people I love."

The real Aang looked on in sheer horror. Sure, Katara was his girlfriend now, but if this was going where he thought it was going…it was going to end _badly._

The actors were standing just a couple inches away from each other now…

"I'm doing it for you, Toph."

"Aang, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying…I lo…AH!"

The entire group looked at Aang in horror, for he had just sent a flaming ball of fire right onto the stage. He immediately sat down, trying to look as though nothing had happened. Down below, the audience was murmuring about who in the world would try to interrupt such a fascinating play…

"What are you doing?!" Katara hissed at him as the actors ran off of the stage, apparently not going to finish the scene for their own personal safety.

Aang frowned. "I just…"

The next scene began as swiftly as the last one ended. It was apparently Mai and Zuko's turn to take a beating…

"Is it hot in here or is it just you?" Zuko's actor suavely asked Mai, who was snuggling on a couch with him. Aang had gone back to watching the play, blissfully ignoring his girlfriend's persistent nagging. But Katara wasn't finished with him yet.

"Now Aang…you shouldn't do that because…HEY!" Katara yelled at Zuko, who had just sent his own fiery distraction down to the stage while she had been trying to lecture Aang. The audience was chaotic now; where were the firebenders responsible for this madness?

Zuko smirked. "What? Aang had the right idea."

**xXxXxXxXx**

"I can't believe they haven't caught you two yet," Suki said as they waited for the play to resume again. The stage crews were still trying to put the fires out.

"Yeah well…"

"They wouldn't stand much of a chance against the Avatar and the Firelord," Aang finished, grinning jokingly at Zuko.

"Well, you don't see _me_ flooding the stage when they have a scene I don't like," Katara replied haughtily. "Maybe you two should show more self control."

"Quit your naggin' woman!" Toph retorted from the back.

Suki, Sokka, Toph, and Aang burst into laughter.

"It's starting again," Mai noted; everyone immediately quieted and looked down at the stage.

Sokka's actor was standing by himself, facing the audience.

"So…we have uh, an…invasion? Yes! An invasion…uh, today, and we're going to…uh, fight the Fire Nation and…"

The crowd booed at Sokka and a few people threw Fire Flakes at him. The gaang watched in silence.

"Oh!" the actor wobbled dramatically before collapsing onstage.

"My speech wasn't _that _bad," the real Sokka pouted, earning himself a comforting hug from Suki. "And I didn't pass out!"

Katara's actress then ran into the center of the stage. "We must have hope…AH!"

Toph's actor harshly shoved her aside and stood proudly facing the crowd. "Let's go defeat the Fire Nation!"

The crowd booed at Toph as well, but it was more in a teasing manner now.

In the back seats of the gaang's balcony, Mai had fallen asleep on Zuko's shoulder. He was pretty bored himself, and started to doze off as well.

The scene changed to what looked like the Royal Palace. Zuko's actor sat at a desk, apparently writing an important letter.

"Dear Mai," he said aloud, immediately waking Mai and Zuko to see what torture they faced next.

"I'm sorry you have to find out this way, but I'm leaving. There's another girl now, and I no longer love you…_at all._ We're _through_. I have to find this girl, because it's been my destiny to be with her ever since I met her at the South Pole. Oh, and I have to teach her firebending, okay? Tell my sister I love her very much. Love, Zuko."

"What?! I didn't write that!"

"What are you complaining about?" Aang spat at Zuko. "You called me a girl!"

"Well, your actor _is_ a girl," Toph replied matter-of-factly.

Aang let out a low growl and shunned Toph, who giggled in return.

**xXxXxXxXx**

"So, you are alive after all, Avatar?" Azula's actress was sitting on a huge throne, facing Toph, Sokka, and Aang. "There's no use in fighting though, this is all a trap so you won't be able to face my father so soon!"

"No way! We can take you!" Aang's actress cried confidently.

"Besides, you have no bending!" Sokka's actor added.

"Neither do you," Azula said coolly as she rolled her eyes.

"Well," Sokka faltered. "I have a sword!"

Azula instantly jumped off of the throne and charged at Sokka. He made no attempt to get out of the way, and when Azula fell short, he actually handed her the stick. She snapped it in two, and Sokka fell to his knees.

"NO! Not my sword…"

"Okay, we lost. Let's go," Toph stated plainly as the other two nodded in agreement.

"Gotta get!" Aang's actress squealed as she whipped out her fancy little glider and "flew" offstage.

The last scene of Act One was short. _Very _short. The stage slowly grew brighter and brighter, until the shadows disappeared, revealing Ozai sitting on a throne at the far right side. There was a doorway in the middle of the set, and Zuko appeared on the opposite side.

"Oh…Zuzu and Daddy scene," Katara gushed teasingly. "This should be interesting…"

Mai glanced over at Zuko questioningly. He shook his head.

"I'm ready to face you!" Zuko let out his battle cry and charged at the door.

"BOO!" Ozai jumped behind Zuko as he slammed the door open.

"AH!" Zuko yelped in terror and immediately whirled around and ran away as Ozai threw a single blue "lightning" streamer at his disappearing son.

"Yeah you run away," Ozai said evilly as he bowed to the audience and the curtains fell.

The audience cheered for some reason; it was strange, like they still believed that Ozai was their ruler…

Zuko was fuming, but he really didn't expect anything less from this terrible play group. Aang and Sokka were still rooted to their seats, not quite believing how lame they were portrayed in comparison to Azula. Katara was still mad at Zuko and Aang for firebending at the stage; bad play or not, they were just people trying to do their jobs. They didn't deserve to be attacked for that.

After several moments of silence, Toph spoke up first.

"Well that was a rip-off."

**Hmm...this chapter was a little frustrating for me...should I continue?**


	3. Western Air Temple through TSR

**Okay, this fic did pretty well on here and ASN, and I had a ton of fun writing this chapter, so I will continue!! **

Much to the gaang's relief, intermission had finally come.

"I'm ready to maul those actors, and it's only half over!" Sokka moaned as the rest of the group nodded their heads in agreement.

"The war's over! Someone should tell the idiotic playwright that," Zuko added. "Or at least shut down the theater."

"Why don't you?" Toph asked casually.

"Why don't I what?"

"Shut down the play."

"I couldn't do that…"

Toph shook her head in wonderment and punched Zuko rather harshly on the shoulder. "Hey genius! Did you forget that you're the _Firelord_ now?! You can shut down the play and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it!"

Everyone stared at her as though they had never thought about that.

"Into the Inferno will resume in one minute," a voice boomed over the lounge area in the theater. The gaang reluctantly shuffled back to their seats; Zuko walked even slower, still pondering what Toph had said.

Less angry now, Mai snuggled closer to Zuko as the curtains rose once more. It was a somewhat familiar background to him, but…everything was upside down.

"Here we are at the Western Air Temple," Katara's actress spoke breathlessly as she was dragged over the stage. She too, was upside down, suspended above the ground by a rope tied around her ankles.

The rest of the group entered, along with three small puppets that looked like Teo, The Duke, and Haru.

"We should probably go do something useful, like find me a firebending teacher!" Aang's actress wailed as the blood rushed to her head, making her look much redder than usual.

"I think that'll have to wait," Toph's actor replied, looking equally red. "What about Zuko?"

Zuko's actor entered the stage on his feet. He looked up at the other actors menacingly.

"Oh!" Katara gasped. "Zuko's cool!"

The three little puppets danced wildly in the air and began to "speak."

"I think something important is about to happen," Haru said in a squeaky voice. "We should leave before we are caught up in the drama!"

"But where are we going to go?" The Duke's puppet was supposedly saying as his little button nose fell off.

"Luging?"

"Sounds good, let's go."

The cheering puppets exited the stage, and Zuko's actor spoke first.

"I need to join your group. I've had a rough past and I need to show you I'm good at being good. Can I join now?"

Once again, Katara began sobbing. "That…was so…_beautiful_!"

Aang's actress looked down at Zuko skeptically. "Will you teach me firebending?"

"I will!" Zuko roared with a dainty hair-swishing motion.

"Okay, then you can join us!"

The black-masked stage crew ran out and tied the actor's legs together with the rope, which immediately lifted him off the ground so he could join the group in the air.

"This is great!" Zuko said smiling triumphantly. Suddenly, his mask and wig fell off, revealing the actor's natural short, black hair and perfectly unblemished face.

"Uh…" was all he said before the nifty stage crew managed to swing the actors off stage. They grabbed the costume on the way out, and quickly gave it back to the actor for the next scene.

Once he was in costume again, Zuko's actor hurriedly ran out onto the stage. Katara entered from the opposite side, looking angry and close to even _more_ tearbending.

"You might have everyone else here buying your _transformation_," Katara spoke fiercely to him. "But you and I both know that you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past. So let me do something _right now_…"

Much to the gaang's surprise, Katara suddenly tackled Zuko to the ground and began kissing him all over his face.

"You naughty boy," she said flirtatiously between all her slobbering.

The real Zuko and Katara looked on in pure horror. Noticing Mai's deadly glare towards him, Zuko managed to find his voice again.

"She…she didn't do that! She threatened to kill me!"

"You did?" Aang asked Katara as he continued gawking at the disgusting scene below them onstage.

"Well it's better than _that!"_ Katara yelled as she gestured to the stage. "Firebending please," she commanded to Zuko.

He smirked. "I thought you said…"

"Who cares about what I said! Nobody ever listens anyways! Just stop _this_!"

Before Zuko had a chance to try firebending at the stage again, the scene changed, much to everyone's relief.

Aang and Zuko were standing alone onstage. Zuko was throwing out orange and red confetti, rather than the usual streamers.

"Oh no! I lost my firebending!"

"Let me see if I can help you," the actress said excitedly as she jumped onto Zuko's back.

"Agh! Aang not so close!" the actor shoved the girl off and glared at her.

Aang's actress smiled sweetly. "Sorry Sifu _Hawt Man_."

"Stop calling me that!" Zuko whined. "I'm sorry Aang, but I no longer desire you like I used to. There's…_someone else._"

The actress wore an expression of shock and sorrow. "What?! Who?"

"I cannot tell you Aang. Our love is too deep for publicity," Zuko sat on the ground sullenly, apparently all out of confetti.

"Please Zuko, I must know!"

"Well…if you _must know_…" he trailed off to add to the drama of the scene. "I met the young woman down at the Southern Water Tribe several months ago."

Aang's actress gasped. "Gran Gran?!"

Up on the balcony, the gaang sat in disgusted silence.

"How's Aang doing?" Mai finally asked Katara.

After a quick peek at her boyfriend, Katara turned around, looking rather flabbergasted. "I think he just fainted. How's Zuko?"

Mai and Katara glanced over at Zuko, whose empty eyes looked as though his soul had been ripped right out of him. His mouth was drooped open in some sort of silent mortification. "Not much better."

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

Sokka and Zuko's actors walked to the center of the stage and looked into the audience.

"So wuzzup?"

"Hey," Sokka whispered so the others in the group couldn't hear him. "Ya know, you've been hogging up a lot of stage time lately, so I was thinking we should like, go on a mission together. Like, maybe freeing my girlfriend from prison…"

Suki groaned inwardly. So her actress hadn't fallen off the face of the earth as she had hoped. Now she was just hoping for as little stage time as possible…

"You mean the _Boiling_ _Rock_? The highest security prison in the _Fire Nation?_"

The audience gasped with excitement; it was clear that most of them feared just the thought about going inside the prison, but the idea of the traitor prince and the Water Tribe boy trying to get in was fascinating to them.

"Sounds good! Let's do this!"

The two boys jumped into a stage prop-balloon and 'flew' to the other side of the stage which was supposedly the prison.

"How should we get in Zuko?!"

The actor pretended to ponder the question for a moment. "I know! We shall pretend to be the guards! We need their clothes however…"

"…and we can't let them see our clothes, so…"

Zuko, Sokka, and Aang's hands immediately flew to their girlfriends' eyes.

"Hey I didn't do that! Only Sokka did!"

"Are you crazy? You were the first one to go!"

"What? You're putting the blame on _me_ now?!"

"Quit it you two!" Suki yelled at them as she struggled to rip Sokka's hand off of her face.

The boys cautiously released when the scene changed; after all, they had only really done it as payback for what the girls did during Katara's Painted Lady scene earlier.

"Oh Suki! I have returned for you!" Sokka said as he danced onto the stage.

"Oh Sokka, I've been waiting _so _long for you! I thought you knew that I can't do anything without you around…"

"I cannot believe that the Fire Nation is evil enough to lock a helpless female in prison!" Sokka said indignantly.

"But at least I have a strong _man_ to support me now," Suki gushed as she threw herself into Sokka's arms.

As they hugged, on the other side of the cell door that cut through the middle of the stage, Zuko's actor was getting beat up by five prison guards.

The real Suki was fuming. She should have expected it, but why did the play portray _her_, the elite leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, as a feeble little girl?!

There was no kiss, just a seemingly endless hug inside of the makeshift prison cell. On the other side, Zuko continued to take quite a beating.

"Su-ki? _Suuuuki_…?" Sokka waved his hand in front of Suki's face. She looked outright furious; he should have warned her how it felt to be humiliated by this stupid play, but he supposed the rest of the group was just used to the torture by now.

"What?!" she snapped at him uncharacteristically, finally looking away from the stage. It wasn't like her to lash out at anyone; especially Sokka…

"Uh," Sokka cowered in his seat; his girlfriend looked quite terrifying when she was angry. "You know it's…it's just a play."

"We all get humiliated," Zuko added miserably as he watched his actor join Sokka and Suki onstage. The prop in front of them looked very much like a gondola, but it still didn't make up for the fakeness of it all.

"Cut the line!" An evilly familiar voice spoke. Just then, Azula's actress strutted onstage, her blue "fire" streaming from her hands behind her.

"Oh Sokka! They're going to cut the line!" Suki wailed as she hugged him for comfort.

The real Suki stiffened even more. She bit her lip and had a death-grip on the railing in front of her. This was unbearable!

"Jet pack powers _activate!_" Azula's actress commanded as her streamers began waving around wildly behind her and she was slowly lifted off of the ground by the rope around her waist.

"Noooooooooo…" Surprisingly, it was Ty Lee's actress who launched herself at Azula, causing her to fall slightly and stop "firebending." This gave the threesome enough time to escape the gondola on the other side of the stage. Within the blink of an eye, Azula's plan to kill them was foiled almost _too_ easily.

"I thought I knew you," Azula spoke in a cold, unforgiving tone after the prisoners escaped. She stood facing Ty Lee, looking quite pouty with her arms crossed and lower lip protruding out.

"Well…I love Sokka more than I fear you!" Ty Lee yelled gleefully as she punched her chubby arm into the air dramatically.

"Hey, wasn't it Mai who saved us?" the real Sokka asked aloud to no one in particular as Ty Lee was dragged away by Fire Nation soldiers.

Zuko looked fondly at Mai, making her blush slightly. "Yeah…you know, I never did get to thank you for that…"

Mai smiled and closed her eyes as Zuko gave her a soft peck on the lips.

"Ugh this play is so boring!" Toph complained as she suddenly slammed her head against Zuko's shoulder. Caught off-guard, his teeth smashed into Mai's lips, and he couldn't find anything to stop his fall, so he knocked her off the bench. Mai's eyes flew open as she fell and she glared at Zuko, refusing his help to get up again.

"What was that for?" she hissed at him crossly as she got up by herself and sat as far away from him as she could.

"But…it was Toph…"

"Oh don't bother giving me excuses!"

Having Mai mad at him again put Zuko in a bad mood. While the others in the front row were calmly watching the play, Zuko-- letting his anger get out of control again-- irritably shoved Toph away from him. This led to a rather painful earthbending-induced ejection from his seat into the front row. Little did Zuko know, his situation was about to get much worse, for he stumbled head-first right between Katara and Aang…

"Hey!"

"What the…ZUKO?!"

Katara and Aang scowled at him furiously, for his untimely arrival into the front seats had just cost them would have been a rather romantic kiss.

Behind Zuko, Toph was laughing at him, and even Mai was watching him with a satisfied smirk on her face.

"I just…" Before Zuko could say another word, Katara slapped him as hard as she could across the face.

He let out a yelp of pain and reached out to sooth the tingling feeling on his right cheek.

"Not sure I deserved that," Zuko pouted, rubbing his face tenderly.

Unfortunately for him, his elbow whacked Suki's head in the process, and she instantly whirled around; her eyes just narrow slits and her face red with fury.

"ZUKO!"

Sitting on the far end of the upper row, Toph was roaring with laugher. She couldn't even breathe long enough to choke out a sassy remark.

By now, the group had completely missed the last scene before the next intermission; they were too busy thinking of ways to kill Zuko rather than wasting time by watching the actors down below.

Much to Zuko's immense relief, the last scene ended at last, and the booming voice returned to announce that it was time for another intermission. The lights came on as Sokka and Aang followed Toph out to the main area; both boys shot icy glares in Zuko's direction before exiting.

Zuko desperately tried to get up and run after them, but Katara and Suki pulled him down and pinned him upside down in the front row.

"We'll be meeting you out back when this is over," Suki said evilly, the girls' heads gazing down at Zuko threateningly through the shadows.

They mercifully released their claw-like grip on his shoulders as he leaped up and sprinted out of the room; he faintly heard Mai ask if she could help Katara and Suki with their task before the doors closed on his way out.

**Oh Zuzu xD**

**Hope you guys liked it; this is the second-to-last chapter, after all. Reviews are greatly appreciated and good motivators to write more fics like this in the future ;)**


	4. EIP through SC: Avatar Aang

**Thanks for the comments everyone! Sadly, this is the last chapter, so I hoped you've enjoyed reading it D**

"Has anyone seen Sokka or Zuko?" Katara asked as she walked into the lounge carrying several pouches of fire flakes.

Aang snorted. "Zuko's still hiding in the bathroom. But Sokka…I haven't seen him for a while."

Everyone looked at Suki.

"What are you guys looking at me for? I don't know where he is either!"

"Well he has to be somewhere…"

"_Into the Inferno _will resume in one minute," the familiar announcer called over the halls.

"Zuko, you can come out now," Aang called to him outside of the door. No answer.

"Allow me," Toph said as she strode forward, cracking her knuckles as she walked inside.

"But Toph that's the guys'…" Aang trailed off as Zuko suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs and darted out of the room, not bothering to look back or wait for Aang.

Toph came out, looking extremely pleased with herself.

"What did you do?" Aang asked in wonderment.

She grinned. "I think just seeing me scared the pants off our little Firelord…"

They walked back to the balcony together. The play was about to begin, so Aang took his seat next to Katara again. Toph smiled menacingly at Zuko as she yanked him over by her and clung onto his arm, while her head rested on his shoulder. She felt his heart racing with panic; it was quite obvious that he wanted to sit by his girlfriend, rather than her.

The lights finally dimmed, and five actors came onstage. It was everyone from the gaang except Sokka's actor…

**xXxXxXxXx**

During the intermission, Sokka had managed to sneak away from his friends and get backstage again; using the secret entrance he and Suki had gone through their first time at the theater.

The entire Boiling Rock part of the play had completely infuriated him, so he was going to set things straight with his actor once and for all…

"Hello _Sokka,_" the real Sokka said sarcastically as he approached his actor from behind. The man turned around and gave him an odd smile.

"Actually my real name's Lee…hey aren't you that guy from the last play…?"

"Lee? Geez that's a common name," Sokka replied coolly, not at all in a joking mood. "You know, there are millions of Lees in the Fire Nation."

Lee looked baffled. "Um…okay? So why are you here again? You want an autograph or something? Cause you know, I really gotta get onstage in a couple minutes…"

Sokka pretended to look as grim as possible. "I'm afraid you won't be able to go back on."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Because I happen to know the Firelord very well, and he sent me a message saying that he would be honored if you, a _world famous actor,_ would join him in his balcony seat this evening for the final act of the play."

Lee's eyes lit up in amazement. "Are you sure? This isn't a joke? The Firelord is really here? Watching _our_ humble little play?"

His excitement faded momentarily. "But…someone has to play Sokka…it's my job…"

"You would rather keep your job than meet the Firelord?!" Sokka pretended to be mortified at his disloyalty.

"No! That's not what I meant…but how will the play go on without me?"

Sokka grinned. "You're a lucky guy, Lee. I also happen to know Sokka as well, and I can guarantee you that I can play him just as good as you do, if not better."

"You would do that for me? And I don't even know you! Thank you so much!" Lee shook Sokka's hand vigorously and bowed the traditional Fire Nation bow.

As he watched the idiot run off, Sokka smiled mischievously. The Water Tribe costume was rather hideous, but he still couldn't wait to see the looks on his friends faces when they saw him onstage…

"Oof! Lee?" Aang's actress looked up just after bumping into Sokka. Her eyes narrowed skeptically; she was nothing like the kind, carefree boy that she acted for onstage. She had a scary aura about her, and she looked ready to kill Sokka simply because he existed.

"Who in the world are you?" she asked Sokka in an icy tone that definitely sounded more feminine and cruel than her Aang-voice. In fact, the girl kind of reminded Sokka of Zuko's sister…

"I'm uh…" Sokka struggled for a good Fire Nation cover name that _wasn't_ Lee. Suddenly, it hit him. "I'm Wang. _Wang Fire_! And uh…I'm covering for Lee for the last scenes, because he uh…fell off…the roof?"

Sokka groaned inwardly, knowing that she would never buy that excuse. It was the only excuse he could think of however; he just silently hoped his friends would be able to bail him out if he got into too much trouble.

Much to his surprise, however, she merely shrugged.

"Whatever Wang. _Just don't blow it_," she added fiercely as she put her bald-head mask over her short brown hair and waited at the side of the stage for the next scene to begin.

**xXxXxXxXx**

"Hey guys, have you heard of the _amazing_ Ember Island Players?" Katara's actress gushed to her friends as they gathered around a large poster about their "The Boy in the Iceberg" production.

"Aren't they like, _world famous _for their _superb_ plays?" Aang's actress asked excitedly. When the spotlight left her, she looked off to the side, wondering where in the world Wang Fire had gone off to. He was supposed to have lines in this scene.

The real Katara sighed disgustedly. "Shameless self-promotion. Truly terrible…"

"What else do you expect from them?" Aang asked as he resisted banging his head against the wooden railing in front of him for the billionth time that night.

Toph chuckled. "Well as long as they don't suggest anything that would imply us actually _liking_ it…"

"I think I'll love seeing a play by the _critically acclaimed Ember Island Players_," Toph's actor told the group. The real Toph banged her fist against a wall and muttered angrily under her breath.

"Actually we thought it _sucked_!" Toph called out as loudly as she could manage. The actors paused for a moment, wondering what disgruntled fan could have possibly have uttered such unkind criticism.

"Toph!" Everyone in the group hissed; even Zuko tried covering her mouth to get her to shut up, but she forced his hand away immediately.

"Someone's coming!"

"What?! Here?"

"Hey guys."

The entire group froze. Some random Fire Nation boy had just invited himself into their balcony and sat down next to Toph. He looked thrilled to be there; it was almost as though he didn't even notice the rest of them there.

"Uh," Zuko began, wondering what he should even say to this guy. "Can we help you?"

The boy looked snootily towards Zuko and Mai. "Actually, yes. I'm waiting for someone and I believe you're in his seat."

He jerked his thumb at Zuko, giving him the signal to get up and leave. Zuko glared at him indignantly in return; half annoyed by this man's terribly rude behavior, and half amused at his inability to even recognize who he was talking to.

"And who are you?" Mai glowered at him, obviously mad about the way he was treating Zuko. Ever since their last visit to Ember Island together, Mai had grown more protective of her boyfriend; anyone who insulted him would have to face her wrath.

The boy sat back and smiled airily, ignoring the young blind girl's growing irritation of his excessive arrogance.

"I'm one of the Ember Island Players. I was cordially invited up here to sit with…"

"What?!" Everyone in the gaang shouted at once.

"Wait! I recognize him," Suki informed them. "You play Sokka, right?"

He nodded proudly and tried speaking again, only to be interrupted by Katara.

"So…if you're up here, then who's…"

Right on cue, the real Sokka entered the stage, playing himself.

"_SOKKA_?!"

"Anyways…" Lee tried to continue, but everyone was ignoring him now, wondering how Sokka had managed to fool the actor out of his part, as well as convincing the guy to let _him_ take on the part.

"So here's my sand sculpture of Suki," Sokka was saying as he played in the sand; occasionally glancing into the audience so that he might see his friends.

Suki smiled fondly down to him, even though he probably couldn't see her up there in the shadows.

"Oh _no!_ What happened to Aang?" Katara's actress wailed hysterically.

"Let's split up and look for him," Suki's actress replied dully.

"She's right there," Sokka pointed offstage. The actors gawked at him, for he potentially ruined many scenes for saying that. She was forced onstage, unable to stay hidden anymore, or the audience would wonder what was wrong. And the Ember Island Players _never_ messed up…

"Um, yes…I was just uh…"

"On a giant lion turtle," Sokka finished for her.

"What?" she looked truly puzzled now, but tried to recover. "Um yes…a lion frog…"

She shoved him and the others offstage, because it was apparently time for Azula and Ozai to come out.

"All hail the Phoenix King," Azula told the audience. Everyone cheered as Ozai's actor donned his ridiculous-looking helmet.

"Yeah sure," Sokka said, coming onstage when he was obviously not supposed to. "More like, _the Chicken Lord!_ Eat more chikin!"

Everyone around him fell silent, however, he heard a single person roaring with laughter up in the balcony seats. It was Toph.

"You tell 'em Sokka!" Toph cheered him on as she yelled right into Lee's ear…on purpose, of course.

Aang, Katara, and Zuko's actors left the stage, and six moving metal mini-ships came zooming out onstage. Suki, Toph, and Sokka all climbed into one and zoomed around stage for a bit, easily avoiding the other ships, which were driven by dummies.

"Yeah! Bumper ships!" Sokka cheered as he did some tricks at the wheel, unaware of the fact that he was supposed to be moving on with the scene. The audience cheered right with him, much to Toph and Suki's actors' annoyance. Finally, Sokka began ramming into every other ship on the stage, causing each one to 'blow up.'

The threesome got out of their ship, and as Toph walked offstage, Suki's actress remained behind.

"My hero," she said dreamily as she made an attempt to kiss Sokka. However, much to everyone's surprise, Sokka leaped out of the way.

"What are you doing?" she hissed in an undertone, clearly furious with the new actor's poor performance tonight.

"I won't kiss you! I don't love you!" Sokka replied huffily as the audience gasped with excitement over this twist in the play.

The real Suki sat in amazement at Sokka's deep loyalty. Without thinking, she mapped out a path down to the stage. She jumped out of her seat and launched herself at a nearby chandelier, ignoring the startled yells from her friends behind her. She swung from chandelier to chandelier, until finally reaching the stage and riding down on the curtain rope.

The curtains fell over Suki's actress and crushed her as Suki threw her arms around Sokka and kissed him.

Even the crowd went "awww…"

Finally, after several seconds, they broke apart. Both of them were grinning broadly.

"What was that for?" Sokka asked her, slightly surprised, but nonetheless feeling very fond of his girlfriend at the moment.

Suki blushed, realizing for the first time that everyone in the audience had just seen them kissing for a long time. "Well…the play said you were supposed to kiss Suki. And you know, the playwright can't be wrong, right?"

Sokka rolled his eyes as they linked hands and walked offstage, carefully avoiding the path of the furious actors.

**xXxXxXxXx**

"You're banished!"

"But, Princess…"

"Your mom is banished too!"

"What?! I…"

"Your friends are banished as well!"

"Why?"

"I don't like them!"

"Hi Azula…"

"You're banished!"

"But…I'm from the Earth Kingdom…"

"Then what are you doing here? Go home!"

"You know what? You're insane! And your hair sucks too!" the Earth Kingdom actor said huffily before exiting the stage.

Azula's actress was now alone onstage, gasping for breath. She looked into a mirror and noticed her frazzled-looking hair.

"All right hair, it's time to face your doom!"

She took a pair of scissors, and instead of cutting just a few locks off, she nearly cut off all her hair, leaving her almost as bald as Aang.

"Bald?" Zuko choked as the actress glared into her reflection in the mirror.

Mai sighed next to him. "It always happens to the overly-famous girls."

Next to Zuko, Lee was still irritating the heck out of Toph. She hadn't been able to listen to the play or even talk to her friends since this idiot came.

"_As I was saying_," Lee cleared his throat loudly, annoying everyone in the gaang. It was clear that he hadn't watched a second of the play, or he would have killed Sokka for doing such a poor job of playing his character earlier. He also seemed to think it was time to talk to everyone again, rather than the stonily silent blind girl.

"Look, we don't want to know what you have to say. Can you just shut up?" Zuko barked at him.

The actor stood up, looking highly insulted. "_Well!_" he bristled. "I'll just wait until the Firelord shows up and you'll be kicked out of this theater immediately for being so disrespectful! I don't know why they let such immature kids such as you," he added, referring to Zuko. "Into our fantastic plays!"

Everyone in the gaang fell silent. They weren't sure whether they should laugh at his ignorance, or beat him up for being such a jerk. Most of them wondered why he was still here anyways…

Zuko simply grinned at him, more amused than angry about the situation now. "Yeah, I guess I have an immature streak sometimes. Come on Mai, let's move before the Firelord shows up and kicks us out."

They moved down the row, leaving a wide gap between them and Sokka's actor.

"I challenge you to an Agni Kai!" Azula's actress screamed crazily at Zuko's actor.

"You're on!"

While the two began battling with their streamers in the background, Mai and Katara's actresses entered the stage, each girl looking quite livid.

"How brave! Zuko's fighting Azula to capture my love!" Katara wheezed lovingly.

"No!" Mai yelled. "Zuko's fighting her for me! I'm his girlfriend!"

"No you're not. You want to get to my boy; you'll have to go through me first!"

The two girls immediately began fighting; Katara's actress tried clawing Mai's eyes out, while Mai pretended to kick her in the shins. The entire scene was more ridiculous than exciting, but the audience hardly noticed. They cheered on their favorite girl (more people were cheering for Katara), completely forgetting about Azula and Zuko fighting in the background.

Suddenly, Mai caught one of Azula's lightning streamers, and shook violently. She wobbled around for a few seconds before collapsing; it was implied that Mai had died, and Zuko hadn't done anything to stop his sister.

Next, Azula aimed one of her streamers at Katara.

"Nooooooooo!" Zuko yelled, suddenly realizing his deep love for Katara, and therefore willing to give up his life for her love. He caught the streamer and fell to the ground, looking quite still.

"Oh come on, they can't kill me again," Zuko muttered under his breath.

Next to him, Lee was panicking. "The play is nearly over! He never showed up. Stupid Wang Fire lied to me…"

In front of him, Katara giggled. "Wang Fire? Is that what he told you?"

Lee nodded. "He said he knew the Firelord and Sokka really well, and that I had been invited up here."

Everyone in the gaang laughed at him (except Mai, of course, but she did smile more than usual). Lee stood up defiantly.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

Down on stage, Katara's actress was healing Zuko by using tearbending, but no one in the balcony took notice.

Aang tried to stop laughing long enough to answer Lee, but it was no use.

"Because 'Wang Fire' _is _Sokka," Sokka said, joining the group along with Suki. Lee whirled around to confront him.

"You lied to me?! I let you ruin my career, and…you…you lied!"

"Actually, I didn't lie at all, except for maybe the Wang Fire part…but that is sorta my Fire Nation name…"

"You've been sitting next to the Firelord all night," Zuko added with a sly smile; the confusion was torturing that jerk, and Zuko enjoyed it.

Lee looked completely dumbfounded. "What?! So…" he darted a glance at Aang. "Wait, _you're_ the Firelord?"

Aang couldn't believe how ignorant this guy was. "Actually, I'm just the Avatar," he said exasperatedly, and then pointed to Zuko. "He's the Firelord."

Lee was in full-out panic mode now, and no one seemed to feel bad for him. "So…but…the playwright said that…"

"Look, your stupid plays are always wrong, okay?" Toph said sourly. "Just believe the opposite from what you've been told and then you know the truth. Now, _get out of here!"_

She earthbended Lee through their seats, where he no doubt landed on a few audience members below.

Onstage, Ozai was facing off with Aang. They were pretty even, until Aang's actress suddenly took Ozai's streamers away.

"Oops! Got your bending haha!" she giggled as Ozai howled and fell through a trap door beneath the stage.

The scene changed once more, and Zuko and Katara were standing on a wall, facing the sunset. They smiled fondly towards each other for a few minutes, before Zuko got onto his knees and held out a crown in a satin-covered box.

"Katara…will you be my Firelady?"

"Oh _Zuko!_" Katara threw herself into his arms and passionately kissed him, apparently accepting the crown.

The real Zuko and Katara rolled their eyes at each other.

"I'd rather be with Mai, if you don't mind," Zuko told her as he hugged his girlfriend affectionately.

"And I'd rather have Aang, thanks," she hugged Aang tightly as he gave her a small kiss.

"You know what?" Sokka said as he sat up and yawned. "I've had enough excitement for one day, let's go."

Everyone agreed, so they left the theater. On their way back to Zuko's house, where they were to stay for the length of their vacation; Suki, Mai and Katara hung back. Aang, Sokka, and Toph went ahead, while the other three girls surrounded Zuko.

"Uh…" Zuko trailed off nervously, noting the creepily evil glints in their eyes.

Suki smirked. "I certainly hope you didn't forget our little promise to you back there…"

**That's it…thanks for reading!**


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